The Right Way to Confront a Boss - The Muse

The Right Way to Confront a Boss - The MuseThe Right Way to Confront a Boss There are bad anfhreres, there are nightmare anfhreres, and then there are bosses who are pretty great- except for that one unprofessional habit that is driving you crazy.Correcting less-than-ideal behavior is easy to comprehend- and fairly typical- when it comes from the top down. But it becomes much more challenging when the roles are reversed- when youre late getting something to a client because your supervisor is the one who blows through deadlines. Or when hes constantly late to meetings. Or uses profanity. Or does something else that you could mention in an evaluation with a subordinate, but have no idea how to broach with a superior.If youre in that boat, read on for a few tactful ways you can handle the situation- while not overstepping your bounds.1. The May I Do This, Too? ApproachI once had a boss who regularly arrived late for work. She was unhappily surprised when, on an uncharacteristically pun ctual morning, she walked into the office at 9 AM and was the only person there. We werent a bunch of rule-breakers rather wed noticed that if there was a night when our boss stayed an hour or two late, she typically came in closer to 930 AM the following morning, so we followed her lead. When she saw what was happening, she called us all together and told us we were expected to be in the office at 9 AM every day- end of story. (And it really didnt seem appropriate to say, But, you arrive late all the time) Though she started coming in on time after experiencing the ramifications of her Do as I say, not as I do approach, my colleagues and I definitely could have handled the situation better. We had regular staff meetings, and it would have been much more professional for us to ask to review the office hours, and ask questions such as, If we work very late or have a company event one evening, may we come in late the next morning? Perhaps we even should have broached the idea of diffe rent working hours (since everyone was de-facto working 930 AM to 6 PM anyhow)- who knows what creative, productive solution we might have been able to brainstorm as a team.So, if youve noticed that your boss has been getting more and more casual- whether in her dress or her previously rigid rules- feel free to inquire if the office is moving in a more casual direction. At your next check-in, try, I feel like Im seeing a shift toward more flexible and creative approaches Is this something I should consider?2. The How Should I Handle This Situation? ApproachI recently watched an old Modern Family episode in which Manny tries to bring fighting relatives together by telling each one a different story about a pretend classmate exhibiting similar behaviors. He had hoped that- from the outside looking in- theyd see the error in their ways. (Of course, because its a comedy, they all tell him that she sounds like a terrible person and he should stop studying with her.)In real life, this app roach can be a lifesaver (so long as you employ a little finesse). Lets say your boss interrupts you regularly. Obviously, asking Matt for ways to correct Pat who always talks over you isnt going to fool anyone. Instead, think of a situation in which people cut each other off, and some people are never heard- hello, conference calls- then ask your boss for his best advice. Lets say that he suggests starting every call by reminding all participants to let everyone speak- a preface approach. Then, right before your next team meeting, pull him aside and tell him you have some ideas that youd like to carve out some time for. Alternatively, if he advises you to insert yourself in the situation (e.g., telling one caller that you believe another participant wasnt finished) he may respond best to a direct approach. Next time he cuts you off try, Im sorry, actually, I had one more point Id like to make.By learning your boss response to a parallel situation, youll gain insight into how hes mo st likely to receive feedback in similar circumstances.3. The Im Passing This Along ApproachYes, having a frank discussion with your boss about an unprofessional habit is on the list of things you never want to do at work. But sometimes, it really is the only approach. For example, lets say that your boss is a yeller. Not only is that totally uncool and completely unprofessional, but it could very easily make other team members, partners, and even clients feel really uncomfortable. If this is hurting your work relationships, you need to pass the feedback along to your boss.If you position yourself as criticizing your boss, hes likely to get defensive. Instead, say that youre sharing generalized information (even if its meant for your boss specifically). Try, Janet mentioned to me that she felt uncomfortable in the office the other day, because she heard raised voices and profanity. I thought it was important that I share her feedback.Its not easy to call your boss out on bad behavio r, but sometimes its your only choice. At the very least, this tough conversation will prepare you for another situation- it will already get you thinking about what you do and dont want to do when youre the one in charge.